The Usual Suspects

So for anyone who reads this, and follows me on Fbook, you'll know that my dating life continues to be more disaster than delight. For today's entry, I've decided two candidates who've recently contacted me. No, it's not the douche bag I called out on facebook. He's not at all worth my time, let alone a blog entry, but he did deserve the call out ;) No these are almost archetypes of the guys you find online. Without further adieu...meet the candidates.

#1 The "I don't want to make any effort at all" Guy

This guy doesn't really want to talk to you. He wants to meet you, see if you're hot, and go from there. His emails will probably be short, if at all. Most likely he will send you his phone number so you can chat, or my new fave, the guy who sets up the date for you...before he even knows your name.

Meet Jon. 42, never married, not sure he wants kids. He's emailed me twice, with the same message:

"Hi, would you like to meet at the Riverview Cafe on Thursday at 7pm?

Jon"

Why yes, I'd like to set the date to go get killed my an ax murder. Thank you, Jon!

#2 The "I just want to get laid" Guy

I think we've all met this one. He's oozing sexual innuendo in even the first email. Prime example came to me via email a week or so ago. Sad thing is, he's cute :( First email had him making comments about me being sexy (really?) and that maybe he's feeling frisky. Surprisingly, I didn't respond. Today he sent me another email saying "nada?" and asking if he didn't even get creativity points for the first email. Then, because flattery will get him everywhere, he said that I was too attractive to not try a second time. I'm not doubting my looks, but my profile picture is me hugging a pit bull. Didn't know that was sexy to anyone other than Vic. Cute, sure ;) For entertainment value, I did respond to his email. I wrote:

"Honestly? Your first email sounded like you were drunk and horny. If I wanted that, I could just go to the bar."

I could care less if he responds, but if you're going to come back twice, I will have no problems tormenting you.

And people wonder why I'm single.