OMG aka There are NO words

Fair warning, this will not be a long post because I'm too traumatized by the latest person who viewed my profile....and so I have to share, but I don't have the brain power to write much more than this.

Below is the picture on his profile. I thought it was a cartoon, some sort of joke. Um, no....turns out it's a photo from..omg, his MAGIC ACT. wtf? The next person who asks "oh, honey, why are you still single?" is gonna get a poster of this sent to them.

Um, and yes, that 'stache is REAL. shudder

PS: for those that are thinking about online dating, let me give you a little advice about choosing a screename. "Dwasher" doesn't really encourage me to want to date you b/c I think that's your job, not some sort of fun nickname or sign that you'll clean up after dinner. Similarly, "TransGuy" had me thinking it said "TrannyGuy." Also not something that's going to make me want to go out with you. ... just saying.

Yech.

PPS: yes, for those of you who will notice the logo on the pic, I should know better than to troll a free site, but I know people who've met on there....still not making up for tonight's trauma, though.

So Creeped Out

The other day, while perusing the dating want-ads, I came across the profile of someone I went out with a few years ago. Our crowds intermingle every once in a while, so I've seen him out since, and pretty much thought he was  a normal guy - just not for me.

Imagine my surprise when there's a major change in his profile stats. Nope, he didn't suddenly gain weight, or gotten married/divorced. Rather, he found the fountain of youth! Yes, you read that correctly, he became younger.

Now I get that when you become 40 it must be harder to find younger women who are interested in you. But what exactly makes you think that lying about your age is a good way to start of meeting someone? When exactly do you tell them "hey, p.s. I'm actually a few years older than I said I was?" If it's the first date, they won't want to see you again b/c you lied. If it's later than that, they won't want to see you....cuz you lied. I don't understand how this works.

Oh, and p.s. I actually called him out on it. Sent him a note and say 'Hey, I see you found the fountain of youth ;)'. Needless to say, that hasn't made him live up to his age yet.  (head shaking)

What not to use for your primary profile photo...

*I blocked out the face to save him more humiliation...

My dating criteria is just getting sad

So it's Sunday morning, and I'm doing what I usually do if I haven't run out of the house (late) to some appt. I'm listning to Fox News and checking email...like my dating sites.

For those of you who have used the harmful site (eharm), are you ever annoyed at how hard it is to org/delete people. Yes, I have issues, but it bugs the crap out of me :) Today I decided to go through and archive anyone I didn't think had at least some sort of potential. [p.s. i also find the new thing that they're sending me matches that haven't been active for over three weeks EXTREMELY annoying]. I digress, but I'm getting to the point. Here's what the typical review process looks like for me:

1. Review photos: Cute/not cute but not ugly/hell no!
2. Height: yeah yeah, but most people look at it
3. Want kids
4. Religion
5. how often they drink - I'm always suspect if someone never drinks, or if they drink all the time

Today I realized that I also have a wild card of sorts. For example, someone matched most of 2-5, but were in the 'eh, not sure' on 1. But then I saw it...the wild card...and this is the thought that went through my head: "Oh, but he has a dog"

And just like that, damned fool got kept in my potential list.

Am beginining to think I should just marry a damn dog ;)