In an effort to keep the friends and family I currently have, I'm reaching out to the bloggosphere to help me get through the next 13.5 days. Hell, or even the next 3. Why? Because for the first time in my "always a bridesmaid" life, I'm not fittin so good in the dress. LeeLee, if you're reading this, don't worry. It zips and fits and I could be presentable tomorrow if needed...but omg, my body is seriously in the worst shape ever. Don't believe me? Here's an example:
1. I did the elliptical the other day, and managed to injure myself. Am supposed to start Couch 2 5K training on Thurs and am not actually sure I can do it. Something about my knee continuously buckling has me cautious.
2. You didn't ask for a second example but I'm giving it to you. When I tried on the dress today, let's just say I looked like a serving wench in the bodice...my cups do runneth over. My mom's comment was "What are we going to do about that???" in a horrified voice. My response? "We (or just me) are going on a DIET."
Oh yeah, the damned D word.
Now I've been lucky that most of my life weight hasn't been an issue, but the past two years it has and holy sh*t does it suck. Turns out one of the side effects of corporate america - in case there aren't enough - is extreme exhaustion from playing corp politics and working 10-12 hours days which not only makes working out unlikely, it makes hoovering up every piece of chocolate I can find EXTREMELY likely. But I'm done with excuses, b/c I have 34 days until dress day.
On Thurs, for no partic reason a girl at work asked me if I wanted to do South Beach with her. I'll get over the fact that she's probably 27 and gorgeous, because she had me at "I lost 20lbs for my wedding." Hmm, 20 is about what I need to lose total. Now I'm not an idiot. I know I won't lose 20lbs in 34 days, but at this point even 5 would help. And because I'm just that desparate, I'm willing to undergo the craziness that is South Beach, or as I'm calling it, South B*tch.
Why the b-word? Two reasons. 1. Because if you've never been around someone going through sugar withdrawal, let me say, bitch? is a nice reaction. My friend D commented "my roommate went on that, and she went completely psycho." Yep, that would describe how I felt the one time I tried it. I lasted 4 days, and then was sick for two. 2. Going through sugar withdrawal is a complete nightmare. 'nough said.
Again, why would I do this to myself? Especially when I'm smart enough to know that shocking the system ain't that smart. B/c, dammit, I'm desparate. Sad isn't it?
So, I'm going to poor out my sugar craving craziness here, instead of driving everyone I know bat sht*t crazy. Wish me luck...
