Things I've learned in 2008 and 2009

warning: serious snarkiness to follow

1. never work onsite at a client
you'd think it wouldn't be that bad, that'd you just have to be on your best behavior. nope, the worst part is that you have no "work posse." no friends to talk to, no one to go to lunch with - and pretty much constantly feeling like the outsider. in retrospect, probably not the best position for someone who's achille's hell (i mean, heel) is feeling like they don't belong.

while people at least smile in the halls here,i can't tell you the number of meetings i've sat in where someone will say "oh, we've got new people!" they then have the new people (me) intro themselves but neglect to introduce the rest of the people in the room.

another fun part of this is when i intro myself to someone they say "oh, i'm david so and so" but no explanation of what dept they work in. excuse me, david, i've never heard of you so while you think you're damn special, how 'bout you tell me what you actually do here.

2. a boss that's not around isn't always a good thing
my boss doesn't live here, and he works out of three different states.while i certainly sympathize, i also get no attention. if i knew how to do my job, that would be swell. alas, shock and awe, i dn't know what i'm doing so i spend a lot of time sitting in my cube, IMing w/ leah or gina, yapping to mom; while pondering how stupid i feel. fun times.

3. fostering a dog ain't easy
have tried it twice. have failed twice, and not in the joking "i failed b/c i adopted the dog" way. at least the last one is still alive, and my nickname is no longer "doggie hospice."

4. 32 feels old
i'm talking eggs drying out in the ovaries old. dating someone 28 doesn't exactly help, although it's not a big contributing factor. more annoying and detrimental are the incessant marriage and kid updates from people on facebook. i understand it's prob b/c they have nothing else to talk about, but really - find a new topic!

5. much like buying a new car, never go work for a company that hasn't fully developed the new technology they say they have
think this one is pretty self-explanatory

hmm think that's all for now. if i write any more i might be too beat down to function.

Minnesotans are Idiots!

Today's rant was spurred by the sheer stupidity bad weather brings to this state. and while bad weather makes people in every state act like idiots, WE should be accustomed to the pitfalls. Case in point, the following examples:

1. It's cold, wear a hat
today as i was walking into work i saw a bunch of guys without hats, mittens, and some didn't even have their coats zipped. asshats, it's -2 outside with a windchill of -20 PUT ON A DAMN HAT. and i realize that the male gender doesn't always have the common sense G-d gave an ant, but come on! And they were all shivering and freezing. If you can't take the cold, get out of the tundra.

2. SUVs handle ice better than sedans
okay i don't know if this is statistically true or not, but if you have an suv - especially an american made one - you can drive faster than me in my japanese tiny car. last night driving home from my parents (what? they fed me dinner) i was behind a dummy in a gmc or something like that who didn't have his rear windshield scraped off and he was going 20 miles an hour. it wasn't actually awful at that point, so i'm not sure what his deal was - and yes, i'm just assuming it was a guy ;)

here's a thought. your car is covered with snow and or ice. maybe, just maybe, it would be a good idea to scrape it off before you start driving!!!

3. speaking of good ideas....
i just came up with this one. since i love watching gracie on the webcam when she's at daycare, i think i should set up a nanny cam at home, and aim it at her crate so i can see what she does all day! how great would that be? ...well assuming i can figure out a way for it to stream live video to me.

Meet Riley

I'm possibly at the risk of becoming way too involved with four-legged friends, not that that is going to stop me - but I thought I'd at least acknowledge it.

So this weekend's post-new boy family and friends meeting involves more fun PH work. Saturday is an adoption event at the Petco near Ridgedale and I'm officially transporting two dogs...Missy, a super adorable black lab, and Riley, a springer spaniel. I will also be "handling" Riley, so I've decided he shall be mine and Gracie's new buddy.

First of all, let's meet Riley!

Meet Riley, 45-pound, 2 year-old Springer/hound mix who really wants to fit in and spend his leisure time with you. Riley has some separation anxiety and would do best with a family with other dogs and someone that is home most of the time. A group home would be perfect for this fine boy.

Found wandering the city streets Riley was looking for some kind soul to help him out. Luckily, he was pulled off the streets and into the care of a Pet Haven volunteer. While we know next to nothing about his background, we do know Riley gets on very well with other dogs, kids and is eager to please. We think cats would probably be okay too, but we don't have any evidence to support that.

Riley is totally lovable and unbelievably calm while his people are around. He'll need a fenced yard to keep him safe. He'd probably like his own couch too, if you have one to spare. Riley is housetrained, gets along with everyone and would like a nice, long ride in the car whenever it's convenient.

Both Riley and Missy are currently being boarded due to a shortage of foster homes. I'm thinking that since Gracie and I really shouldn't be fostering at this point - hell, I can barely get her walked and get myself out the door in the mornings - that we would take some doggies that are being boarded and give them some time with us at our house on the weekends! This is also one idea I've come up with to try and curb my weekend spending - if I'm home with two dogs, I won't be able to go out. Anyhoo, so not sure if we'll start this weekend or not, b/c I don't know how I could take one dog back to boarding (Missy) and take one home with me..but we'll see how it goes ;)

Weekly Update - brought to you by Red

Flu bug

So after three days of severe pain last Fall as a result of getting a flu shot, I got a huge dose of the Flu last week.

It started on Saturday night when I had to bolt upstairs to vomit as the Carb King (the new boy) was getting ready to leave. And no, I did not get a lip-lock that night. Shocking, I know.

Eight days and a sinus infection later, I’m finally feeling better. The really fun part was when I was supposed to start my new assignment last week – with the popcorn people – and I only made it in for a half-day Tuesday and a full-day Friday. Oh yeah, breaking myself in for the full-time gotta get dressed and get to work gig.

Speaking of the Popcorn people

My new team is nice. They talk to me. I feel included. It’s like a whole new company! And I only have to see Princess one more time – woohoo! What else can I say? Um, I have a cube. No window, but there’s plenty of light so I don’t feel like I’m in the bat cave. I even have a nameplate already, oooh. Oh, this is good. The last person in this role left me a few small files, which is nice. Then I opened a drawer and saw she also left me some of her biz cards and a …hairbrush. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I was over the vomiting part of my flu when I found that. Seriously, there’s nothing more disgusting than a dirty brush with hair strands still stuck in there. BLECH.

A horoscope prediction comes true

Last month on astrologyzone.com my horoscope said something about now being a good time to volunteer and something about taking a leadership position in a volunteer org. Saturday I had a volunteer orientation for Pet Haven (pethavenmn.org. I suggest you become familiar b/c you’ll probably be hearing a lot about them) and they asked me to be the Associate Director of the Outreach team! I’m sure this means nothing to any of you, but I’m very flattered that after meeting me a couple of times, they thought of me for this role. I’m going to meet with the old Assoc Director and the old Director Director this weekend to find out more about the actual responsibilities.

My Boys – an update

Hmm, where to start with this one?

Let’s go with the backcracker. After a few ignored texts – he sent, I igrnored, he called me late last week and I decided to answer. We actually had a normal conversation – well normal for a guy who likes to constantly engage in verbal sparring – and so I agreed to dinner with him on Friday. It seems that he’s coming around to us just being friends – and actually referred to our “friendship” a few times during our call – so I thought dinner would be harmless, and it was. ‘course the next day when I talked to Leah, she said just b/c I thought it was a friendly dinner didn’t mean he thought it was. In other words, we could’ve had a non-kissing date. Dammit! And speaking of non-kissing dates….

What the hell is with Gen Y boys?

So the Carb King (new boy) and I have had a few more dates. On date #4, there was no goodnight kiss. I let that one go b/c I threw up while he was tying his shoes.

On date #5, he had me come to his house even though we were eventually going in the opposite direction. I still haven’t figured this one out, but as he didn’t chop me into little bits, I’m trying to get over it. he did make me drive, however, which I did not enjoy. Not sure if he’s an equal opportunity driver or not. Perhaps I’ll have to subtly give him the hint that I hate driving, which most people know. that or they choose not to drive with me b/c driving with a person who has a.d.d. is risky to your health.

Anyhoo, no smooch at the end of yon date.

Date #6 was the very next day when he came over to watch Platoon. He is sorely uneducated in movie knowledge. Hasn’t seen any Brat Pack movies; hadn’t seen Platoon; hasn’t seen Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Say Anything…seriously the list is never-ending. He is, however, willing to be educated. So last night was Platoon, and Coming to America is next on the list.

Last night after 2 hours of Platoon, and dinner, we were watching TV lying next to each other on the couch. Finally he put an arm around me after I put one around him to tease Gracie about being near her boyfriend – the dog is in love with him, no lie. After the arm contact, there was still…nothing. After an hour, completely disgusted, I said “so you wanna get this first kiss thing over with or what?”

He laughed...not quite the reaction I was looking for. Then he jokingly purses his lips and leans down and gives me a smack on the lips. Um, again, not the reaction I was looking for. So I pretend annoyance, and ignore him to which he finally lays one on me. Dude, about time! ‘course that was it until he left for the night, and he tried doing the joking thing again. I resisted, and then he tried to make it normal, but instead smacked my head against the door.

I mean, if he doesn’t want to kiss me, that’s fine. I don’t need a concussion, lol.

The consensus is he might be shy or a “nice guy” which apparently means all the people I’ve gone out with are asshats :) …oh wait, they are. On Friday, I’m going to a hockey game with his best friend and his bf’s fiancée, and also meeting the parents. Big day for me, I might have to take half a day off work to prepare.

So that’s the latest and greatest. I’ll keep you posted…as long as I don’t get my head smacked too many times!